


Haven

by MayLaNee



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterlife, Borderline Personality Disorder, Depressing, Depression, Dissociation, Gen, Mental Breakdown, Oneshot, POV Harry Potter, Sad, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26614690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayLaNee/pseuds/MayLaNee
Summary: Depressing little oneshot I did in an hour or so based on prompts by Blanxious13, kind of forgot about it. Technically a song fic of 'Time Is On My Side', version by Irma Thomas.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Haven

**Author's Note:**

> **Condition 1) Harry is inexplicably stuck atop mountain**   
>  **Condition 2) He can’t get that fucking song out of his head now**   
>  **Condition 3) He’d never had a friendship like this one**

The song kept playing in his head. 

He didn’t know where it had come from, why it was playing _now_ , though he had heard it before. 

It was one of those classics and it wasn’t bad, but it just… kept going. 

Infinitely. 

  
_Time is on my side_

The sky was gently clouded, which Harry wasn’t used to seeing from above.   
Not while standing, anyway.

 _Yes it i_ s

He had about a hundred square metres to himself, which was both far too much and not nearly enough. There were three trees near the edge, a lot of rocks, and some grass dotted with some wildflowers.

He’d managed to make a fire out of some of the branches he’d gathered, but he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t cold or dark.

_Time is on my side_

He supposed it had just been the right thing to do.

_Yes it is_

He threw one of the smaller stones towards the boulders near the edge and watched it disappear between them. Its gentle ‘tic’ interrupting the constant near-silence.   
Not even his footsteps made noise unless he made an effort - there was just the gentle wooshing that accompanied him. 

  
It was comforting. 

When he wanted to hear something it was there, when he wanted silence —, well, it was still there, but it didn’t interrupt his thoughts.   
It listened, it flowed, it carried no judgement, no expectations and no resistance. Instead, it brought the scent of crisp freshness and the occasional bit of moisture. 

He’d never had a friendship like this before. 

_Now you always say_

He’d had other friends though, he was sure of that. There was fondness as their faces echoed in his memory. A thorough fondness that held warm light and laughter, but it was distant. 

_that you wanna be free_

…not uncomfortably so, though. 

Sometimes when he lay down on the grass or on one of the bigger boulders, he forgot.

_(You'll come runnin' back)_

He forgot where he was, that he was laying, that his opened eyes were seeing the sky — he forgot his body and he forgot his name and there was a vague recollection of an existence before the present. It was impossible to tell how much time had passed since he lay down.

_Just like I hoped you would, baby_

Come to think of it — he had no idea how long he had been on this mountaintop at all, and the details of what had come before were blissfully distant, too.

_(You'll come runnin' back)_

Wrapped within the solidity below and the infinite sky above he lay, wondering whether night would fall at all.  
He couldn’t remember when it last had.

_I won't have to cry no more_

There had been so many things… thumping and noise and people and shouting and discomfort, and pressure, inside and out.

_(You'll come runnin' back)_

  
But there was nothing, now. Just this little refuge, this island of peace, him as charcoal surrounded by earth and sky, occasionally blessed with the slightest bit of moisture just to remind him of the possibility of sensation.

_Uh-huh_

It had been a long time since he’d walked into the brightness. 

_(To me)_

It had felt safe and that had been welcome. 

_Yeah, yeah_

There had been the gnawing feeling of _something to do_ at the time, but he had been so tired, _so_ tired…

_Yeah, yeah_

…so he had walked, just continued to walk, taking refuge in the activity, enjoying a brief respite… and then the brightness had cleared and he had found himself here, on this mountain top. Nothing but sky seen from above and below and his haven of tranquillity surrounding him.

_Time is on my side_

Remembering the details from _before_ was hard. 

Unattainable after-images of his life as it had been, the good, the bad, the pressure, so much pressure…

_Yes it is (Yes, yes)_

And as he lay there on his back, the pressure was all behind him, compacting the earth into a pillar of life that carried him beyond anything else with nothing but the sky to accompany him.

_Time is on my side_

Time had dissolved as had the desire to change it, there was no going forward because there was no going.

There was just rest… 

  
_Yes it is (Yes, yes)_

As he lay, face towards the sky and stars, the edges of his Self began to swim once more. The details of his previous existence seemed to fade even further, fade to white, as did the sky, and that song kept playing. 

  
_I know that you're searching for good times_

_But just wait and see_


End file.
